Statistics
by BitterKnitter
Summary: When David was four years old, before he was adopted, Kelly was there.


**I own absolutely nothing of Red Dwarf. What a shame!**

**Hello all! I hope to distract you lovely people from this beautiful weather for just a few moments to read this fic, it's been a challenge and a half. I set out to do something totally different but ended up inspired to do this ficlet. I figured that theres so many little RImmer stories but Lister had just an exciting, if not more, childhood than his bunkmate. I found myself looking through photographs a few weeks back and remembered my own childhood in London, and the summer days spent eating ice cream in the park with little to no adults around.**

**David may belong to Red Dwarf, but Kelly? She's all mine. Have fun!**

It was summer.

A hot and heavy breeze wafted over the park, bringing with it the scent of petrol fumes and the sounds of the city.  
Swings creaked as children shrieked with laughter, the sound of the seesaws whacking against the gravel and arguments, cries and foul language echoed over the playground, the very essence of inner-city childhood flooding over the ground like a wild and unsupervised torrent.

At the far right-hand-side of the playground was a large pebble-dashed shelter, it's once whitewashed walls now daubed in neon graffiti. A small child no older than four was slumped against it, his left cheek pressed into the gravel as his right hand picked at the whitewash sulkily. His nose was running, his eyes were bloodshot from a previous tantrum and his bottom lip pouted and wobbled as he sniffed into the bosom of the wall.

"Eh! Whats with the banana gob little man?" A sunny, if not hoarse female voice sounded from above him. He looked up, his white milk teeth escaping his lips from the strain like two tiny pearls.

Above him was Kelly Kerbaine, her shoulder length black cornrows tied immaculately into a topknot as per always. Her young lips were painted a terrifying red and dark freckles run amok her nose and cheeks. She held in her hands two ice cream cones as she leant against the side of the shelter with him, her dark eyes glinting in the sun with an adolescent mischeif.

"I got yer a 99 with red sauce,". She grinned as a small hand shot up and grabbed at the cone, his chubby fingers wrapped precariously around the wafer as the frozen treat reached his mouth in gratitude. The girl slid down the wall until she was sat cross-legged next to him, licking her ice-cream with relish.

"Eheheh! Watch where you're putting that ice cream!" She gaped at the small figure beside her, whose cheeks and hands were already coated in the frozen treat, his fingers sticky with sauce. With a sigh she produced a crumpled paper napkin from her pocket and started to wipe away the mess. The small child whimpered and tried to tear his head away,  
but to no avail; Kelly held his small head still by holding the nape of his neck so he was facing her.

"David! Look at yer, yeh're old enough to be able to feed yerself properly," She tutted. David growled at her, baring his teeth and slapping her arms in an effort to defend himself from the scratchy and ink-stained tissue. Eventually she was satisfied that he was clean enough to be presentable, and freed him from her grasp. The four year old staggered comically and fell down to earth with a plop, his ice-cream once again buried in his face.

Kelly sighed deeply, and brought her knees close up to her chest, resting her chin on the arms that crossed over her dark skinny legs. Change was in the air this July, and not just for her.

"I heard from Lucy that yeh might be being adopted, David," She eventually piped up, without looking at him. David looked up, chewing thoughtfully on his cone.

"Yeah," He mumbled. A lump rose in his throat as he remembered Lucy the social worker introducing him to a couple in her office earlier that day. He couldn't help but recall that the man showed too much teeth and not enough lips in his smile, and that the wife's perfume was a little too potent.

"What's their names?" She pressed on, looking into the distance. Figures of the playing children blurred as her heart raced with envy.

"Mr and Mrs Lister," The child said simply after a short pause. Kelly's eyebrows raised and she nodded, twiddling her fingers. Of course he was being adopted, he was still cute and adoptable. The noise of the playground ebbed and bubbled like a river behind them, and it somehow calmed her.

"But I don't like them. She smells like pee," David looked up at the bigger figure beside him, his dark eyes starting to prick with tears.  
"I don't wanna go with them,"

Kelly looked down at the defiant little person beside her, and watched his breathing deepen, his chest heaving with effort to keep in an oncoming temper tantrum.

"Oh come on, little man," She smiled, her worried thin lips wobbling oh-so-slightly. "Of course you want to go with them. They're going to be yer new mum and dad. Don't yeh want a mum or dad?"

The four year old panted, tears starting to streak down his cheeks, leaving behind dark wet trails down to his chin. "But I don't WANT a mum OR dad! I want you! And I'm never gonna see yeh again!"

Kelly was taken aback by this outburst and backed slightly away from David, leaning on her hands behind her. The child slammed forwards, and gripped onto her leg like a small limpet, his sobs wracking through his tiny body so much so that her leg was shaking. David was screaming with frustration now, his fingers wrapping themselves into the denim of her jeans, his tears staining the fabric with dark blue spots.

"Oi! David," Kelly growled, her own anger almost to bursting point herself. "Everyone needs a family, David! You, me and everyone else!"

At that point David looked up her, his dark eyes wide in earnest. She'd never believe this was the little boy who sneaked sweets from Patel's Post Office around the corner, then urinated into the next door neighbour's water butt. "Can't you be my mum instead?"

"Eh?"

"You adopt me, and we look after eachother!" He smiled and put his hands on her knees. "Me and you, all on our own! We do what we like,  
go to bed when we like, and no Mr or Mrs Lister to take me away from ya!"

Kelly swallowed and bit her lip. Here was the moment that she was dreading... not only from David, but from everyone else, even herself. Thirteen years old.  
She was just thirteen. He had been older. Much older. She was another one, another statistic, another forgotton child in care. And here was another's chance at avoiding that fate, obviously not hers but there were other, much more dangerous fates out there. He would be rescued.

"Oh David... that would be great, me and you all alone. But that can't happen..." She placed her hand on the child's thick curls, and breathed.

"Why not?"

"Because... because I'm too young... and somethings happened, something stupid. I'm stupid, everyones..." She slapped the wall in frustration.  
"Smegging Stupid!"

David whimpered a little, and Kelly looked down, her blurry vision expecting to see the four year old on his feet and ready to do a brilliant impression of Linford Christie. But the child was clinging tighter to her legs, his eyes squinted shut in effort, his red and white-striped shirt still stained with blobs of ice cream. How could he understand anything of whats happened? He was still playing with lego and reading the Beano.  
She was smoking behind bike sheds and getting herself into things she herself still didn't fully understand. But, whats done is done. Maybe this would be the making of her.

Quietly and without any suddenness, the child loosened his grip and clambered onto her, his legs straddling her belly and his small dark arms wrapped gently around her neck, his small head resting on her chest, as if listening for a heartbeat. She wrapped her too-long arms around his small body and they stayed in that position, comforting eachother as they both thought about their own, individual uncertain futures. The child in her arms snuffled and bit the end of his thumb, small wrinkles stretching across his forehead in deep contemplation.

"Come on David, let's go home," She eventually opened her eyes sleepily and smiled, wriggling her body free and, with a heave, stood up. "I think it's curry night tonight. You want some off of my plate?" At this he smiled in excitement, his wonky grin returning once more to his chubby cheeks.

David scrabbled to his feet, dusting his legs down, the gravel still imprinted on his skin. Taking the older girl's hand, he wiped his nose with the palm of his other hand and shuffled besides her, the toes of his trainers dragging behind in the dust, out the gate, down the road, and back home.

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**Thank you Cazflibs for getting me on the go for this fic! Reviews are always welcome from anyone, good or bad.**

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End file.
